On Discipline

When my husband and I started dating we discussed having children during one of our late night talks. We got on the subject on discipline and I told him that I had firm strong beliefs that I would never ever hit our children. Thankfully he agreed - it would have been a dealbreaker if he hadn't (HONESTLY!). I'm sure this post will stir up some strong opininions within a lot of people. I have had quite the 'discussions' with people on this topic. One certain person and his wife strongly disagreed with me. It was very hard for me to drop this as we see them regularly. One of my life's biggest lessons has been to "let go" and I still try to live with that daily. I believe very strongly that you do not have to hit your child to get them to behave. There are so many other options out there. So far, my husband and I have been using time-outs and they have worked. Sometimes we take toys or privileges away which also seem to drive home the point. Now, our kids are 5 and under so we don't know yet what we will face in the coming years but I am never going to use physical means to discipline our children.
Think about your hands and what they do during the day. They soothe, they caress, they hold, they help. They are not meant to hurt and I will never use my hands to hurt our kids.
I have been doing some 'reading/research' and one blogger wrote how people use religious reasons such as "spare the rod, spare the child". She made the point about how Jesus was so kind to children and would have never hurt them. I love that.
Others believe that our generation has gone soft on the kids and while I do agree that there are a great many people out there who are too permissive with their kids, they seem to have no set boundaries, no limits, and no bedtimes or routines for their kids (off of which they thrive so much!), I do think that our generation has enough knowledge and other options to use different forms of discipline.
I know first hand what it is like to be "physically disciplined." I feared my father's wrath, always waiting for him to explode into anger, unsure of what was coming next. I know what it can do to a child and I vow that our children will never live in fear of a parent. It is detrimental to them, it hinders their growth, and it teaches them to solve conflict with their hands, not with their mind. Of course I don't want my child growing up to be a softie, that if he or she gets hit by another kid on the playground, to not retaliate. But this retaliation can come in other forms than hitting back.
Make no mistake, I lose my temper. When my kids are misbehaving and fighting all day, and I feel like nothing works anymore, I lose my temper too. I have yelled, I have said things where later I'm like "what the hell did I just say?", but then I turn around and give myself a time-out. Because most of the time, it's because they are tired, hungry, or just need a hug. And that is where I come in. My hands will soothe them to sleep, fix them a snack, or give them a hug. Because that's what your hands are meant to do.